February 2004


Volume XLIII	By Edgar T. Penguin	February 2004

Disclaimer The Penguin Post does not except responsibility for any views published in Editorials. Editorial: I Have Feet By Pigelty-Wigelty I am a furious piggy who would like to make everyone aware that I do too have feet! Since I got my new shoes everyone and their dog have been bothering me - leaping out at me from corners and repelling down walls while I am sleeping (you know who you are!). It is a terribly frightening situation for an innocent piggy! I have lodged a formal complaint to the teddy Council (as you should all know), and to Joey. I have also written a letter to Andy in Iowa and he is sending evidence to prove that I have feet! I expect everyone to leave me alone or else I will show you the beautiful feet that I keep hidden and make you all jealous! Here is Pigelty-Wigelty's evidence. Editorial: Pig Has No Feet By The Harrys We have done an extensive investigation and discovered that Pigelty-Wigelty has no feet. Putting ourselves into posotion above the reading pig in question we waited until he had fallen asleep and then repelled silently down on him. a thorough examination proved that there are indeed no feet! Since he has no feet we thinkthat his new red tennis shoes should be given to someone who could wear them! Valentines Workshop Oinkers is holding a valentines Workshop the first weekend of the month at 4 o'clock in the afternoon. Supplies are provided so bring your ideas. Hope to see everyone there! Editorials This month The Penguin Post received too many editorials to include them all. I would like to thank all for their submission and apologize, but there just isn't enough space!	Iowa Adventurer Edgar II Picture by Bubbles Christmas Stowaway By Edgar II At Christmas time, my family decided to make a trip to Missouri to spend the holidays. I decided to take a page out of Spud's book and stow away in the present box. It was a dull trip down, but luckily I had the foresight to bring plenty of snacks and a game or two. It was mostly night out, so there was nothing to look at and the only really bad thing was the things in the box kept shifting and squashing me and there was no room to move around and get comfortable. When we got there, it was pandemonium for a while, then I was discovered in my cramped position and hauled out of the box. My poor little limbs were aching from being squashed and it took some time and a cup of restorative cocoa to revive me. The first day was exng. I so much enjoyed seeing my clone, Edgar, and he showed me the newspaper lay out and we went to the store for treats. Later that day we went to the cow pond in hopes of a little skating, but the pond wasn't frozen, so we went back to the house and played a quiet game of tidily winks. The second day was going pleasantly, the people all left and we were in the midst of watching an interesting and educational film, when we were suddenly invaded by a roaring, howling, 3 year old monster. She came roaring in and terrorized us all. Oinkers was driven to playing dead and poor Slimey and Slimella were crushed and smashed. Edgar and I were quick to respond and battled valiantly, but to little effect, since she was huge! We were soon driven back under the chair and forced to remain there. At last the noisy, sticky Horror was snatched up by her parents and taken home, leaving only the wreckage to mark the fact she had been there The next day I was packed back in a squishy box and spent hours riding back home. It was an interesting trip, but I am thankful to have returned in one piece	Feet or No feet? Last month a pair of red tennis shoes sparked an unprecedented controversy: does Pigelty-Wigelty have feet? As you know Pigelty-Wigelty is a yellow pig that on first inspection does not appear to have feet, so many found the purchase of red tennis shoes to be odd, "why does he need shoes if he has no feet?" asks Annie. Pigelty-Wigelty had this to say, "My feet are so beautiful that I keep them hidden so that everyone won't be jealous of me." Does he have feet or not? Does it matter? You decide. Editorial: Investigation Needed By Oinkers In order to settle the dispute over Pigelty's feet i think an investigation should be launched. I have approached our in-house detectives, but they declined on the grounds that it was bad business to investigate their own secretary. The Harrys have also investigated, but can you trust a Harry? Annie and many others have also examined Pigelty-Wigelty, but are they telling the truth? I think there is only one teddy for the job, one who is also a pig and can easily tell if there are any feet: me! As such, I intend to look into this matter my friends and will let you know what I discover. Teddy Council Meeting The teddy Council has called an emergency meeting to be held on February 16th to discuss the Pigelty problem. It seems that many want to discover the truth about Pigelty-Wigelty's feet and have taken the matter into their own hands. the pig has filed a formal complaint on the matter, and is hoping for positive results. Petitioners will also be speaking in hopes of forcing an investigation into the matter. The last Council Meeting was held in 2000 when a move to Missouri seemed immanent. Valentines Day Approaching This is a reminder to all that valentines Day will be here in two weeks, so be sure and get your valentines done! Also, Cherry Pink and Apple Blossom white would like to remind everyone of the valentines Day tea to be held on the 14th at 4 o'clock. No roughhousing or disturbances please.

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